I'm excited to vote in the upcoming municipal
elections. Alan Lowe is a dink, and Ben Issit
is my neighbour. I'm going to vote for Alan
Lowe, though, even though he's a dink- because
he did such a great job with the new arena.
That thing is awesome. First of all, it's
bigger than the old arena. Way bigger, and
that is great. Second of all, it has that
really neat sculpture out front of the robot
taking a dump. That sculpture is really great!
It seems that we also get to vote for some
city councillors, too. We get to pick out
eight of them. We also get to choose nine
Isitt owns a few boats, did you know that?
Did you know that he lives in a yellow
people might vote for Ben Isitt because
they think Alan Lowe is a slimy sycophant.
They might think that Alan Lowe is a rich
architect cunt who lives in a giant house
off Rockland Avenue, gets regular visits
from high-class escorts, and farts into a
diamond-studded purse. They might also think
that he doesn't care about the street people
who don't have places to sleep or even i-pods
to check their hotmail accounts Some people
might think that, but they would be wrong.
They don't know Alan Lowe like I do.
Lowe, "the dink", baked me
cookies and brought me cough syrup when I
had a cold last Christmas. The cookies were
huge and delicious, with sooo many gooey
chocolate chips, it was crazy! And the cough
syrup was made in Alan Lowe's cough syrup
factory in Peru, so you know how good it
was. Anyway, this is just one example of
what a good person Alan Lowe is. He can be
a dink, but he can also be quite kind and
Another nice thing Alan Lowe did was kill
all these kittens in my back yard. I know
it sounds bad, but they were getting to be
real pests! He just showed up, out of the
blue, with a shotgun and a garbage back.
You should have seen those kittens scatter
when he started shooting! I think he managed
to pick off eight of the twelve kittens in
our yard, which is pretty good.
So I'm voting for Alan Lowe.